Not that nervous. Tired tonight. A lot on my mind. A lot of people bullshit.

It’s been settling out over the past few days, some good, some bad, but mostly into the bullshit file box and away from the positive energy core (thankfully.)

At some point this week my boyfriend bailed on me with silence, and my parents volunteered to be my pilot support in and out of the tri tomorrow. This only sucks a little: depending on someone to be there, only to have them distance from you and shut down completely at a time when you need them the most.

Life right? People and crap and pains of the growing process I suppose.

It has, in some sense, re-focused me on my path (for which I am grateful, I felt to some extent I was straying anyways and becoming distant from those things and people important around me.)

My tri gear is piled in neat stacks on my bedroom floor. My bike is waiting in the garage, I took a spirited walk earlier trying to let go of the negative thoughts: some kind of final mental purge.

I know, in some way, that tomorrow will change me. I will be a different person afterward. I’m looking forward to what happens, regardless of miles, of time, maybe of even finish.

Getting this far was a finish in itself, and for that I’m grateful. Seeing family and friends will just about help carry me the rest of the way I think, as I couldn’t have gotten this far without any of them either.

I think, this whole process is about having faith in oneself to overcome. So, I’m ready for that. Bring it.